Athena Tan
The Chemistry of All We’ve Ever Known
here I am with the awful
scabs on my knees
And there you are with the sword in your hand,
Fingers on the hilt,
Tracing my hipbone with a bad feeling,
An awful smile on your lips.
How I want a blade
a bad blade to breathe in,
like your aroma is
a -- inhale exhale inhale exhale
-- a necessity.
but what use is a blade if
i'm buried in your bed
"Goodnight."
"Sleep well."
your twisted tongue,
t-tongues iron metal
blood iron blood metal blood
metal iron chemistry,
the chemistry of things, the
chemistry of our things, the
science of living together,
the bio-physical-sense-of
-wonderment-of-fantasy
sizzled outsizzled backwards
between us,
between the time I woke up
and poured oil
to scramble eggs for our break
-fast, quick coffee and a quickie
assembled beneath the
counter, warmed by
sun and awfully slow;
how funny it is that we angle
ourselves
upon the shelves,
hoping to careen into
flesh when all we’ve ever known,
is cold concern, dribbling
into a cup.
Love Spills Forward (and back)
do you wear
the cockroach shoes, the shiny brown
\
the shiniest in this moonlight, as it pools
right at your hip - what's this tissue scar,
you will still be able to drive a car like any other man,
/ oh man, i know you're tired but the fly-swatter
has become your accessory, your house wife's necessity, i
don't sweat from the morning spring as you pour into me
clink-clink of icy lemonade, i sweat from the movement of my limbs
against the wood of the house, it is hard, these floor
-boards, as it is hard to slap my child on one cheek yet
pour sugar into the other's dimple,
\ i promise to smile,
and stay healthy, i promise to lie
while wearing the zip-lock sleeves, sandwiching
ham and tuna and egg and lettuce into bread, as easy
as me professing my love for you, i promise to cherish t-
t - t-he time we have t-to-two-together, polishing
your pink alarm clock and stitching together your soul while
nourishing it with chicken stew, i didn't say
something in my wedding vows, my little ones tucked
beneath lace and doily, crystal eyes gleaming from the
sea-side-round-window of my naval button,
m-my l-lo-love, lo and behold, i vow to
hide my illness from you,
/ so continue to smile with
all the hope of sun-washed shores and my cracked hands,
with the spick and span of a clean house and my dirty needs,
as loud as your outside voice while i tuck myself inside
your heart, forever,
/ forever, continue forward,
\ backwards, you careened into my arms
and i ignored the stick of fluid, preferring the stick
/ of your name to my heart,
/ instead i quote numbers,
wear the numbers like a necklace,
my last gift to you,
/ of cell-phone keys and car keys, drive me to the
hospice and shout 1/4/3 in the dead garden,
carved among the leaves.
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Athena Tan is from Singapore. She is a student and the founder of Carpe Bloom, an online collection of poetry, prose and photography pieces by youth all over the world. While foraging further into the world of the word, her pieces have placed first in the Global Debate Essay Competition 2014, and appeared in ANZA Magazine and Halcyon Literary. She is also an upcoming judge for Young Author Awards 2017, and has contributed to the collection, Heritage Journeys: No Place like Serangoon Gardens, in celebration of her country’s 50th year.
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